Humans, vampires, werewolves and everything else
by wherthewild1s-trulyare
Summary: Short drabbles in the lives of people Twilight related. Random, occasionally funny bits of nonsense, written completely in the moment. Reviews are very, very welcome! Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
1. Bella? part 1

**A short drabble:**

'Oh my god. I have to shop.'

Edward eyed me curiously.

'Bella…what-?'

'I'm sorry…Alice, well she wants me to learn to shop. And I'm guessing Jasper made me feel excited about it…'

Edward leaned back around the living room door to see Jasper standing there with a slightly guilty yet amused look on his face.

'Oh and by the way, you might want to tell Jasper: he is _so_ whipped!'


	2. Jacob & Bella

**A short drabble:**

Jacob laughed, his warm breath against Bella's.

'Stop! Stop!' She shrieked doubling over and fell onto the couch.

Jacob snorted with more laughter and for a moment just watched Bella's flushed face turn slowly back to pale. She narrowed her eyes and jumped on Jacob, pushing her hands everywhere. Jacob threw his head back and his body seemed to be shaking. Bella stood up and planted her hands onto her hips.

'See? No one likes being tickled against their will!'

* * *

**Review!! Not just this chapter, but anything that tickles your fancy. :)**


	3. Edward loves his iPod

**A short drabble:**

Edward lay on his couch. He was listening to his iPod's immense library of songs.

Chris Brown's _Forever_ popped up in shuffle mode. He snorted. He thought Chris Brown was an okay singer, but techno was so not his style. Alice would probably like it better. He clicked 'next'. _Never Gonna Give You Up _started. Rick Astley had a ridiculous voice. But he liked the lyrics.

Quickly, he flicked through cover flow and found some Mozart. He listened to the beautiful strains of classical piano come out.

He sighed. This was the problem with having a huge amount of songs. He could while away the nights like this, listening to his favourite songs. To be honest, they were _all_ his favourites.

* * *

**I have a bad habit of falling asleep with iPod in ear at night. Then I wake up with the cords all tangled up and choking me.**


	4. Emmet at home!

**A short drabble:**

'AHAH!'

Rosalie winced. Emmet forgot that with strong senses, came strong everything. This included a strong voice.

'I FOUND IT! Yeah!'

Rosalie forced open her eyes. There was only one thing that could have made Emmet so happy to find.

Sure enough, moments later, she heard the sounds of his PS3.

But she was bored and they were the only ones in the house. She got up from the couch and walked over to Emmet. Emmet was too engrossed in his game for a moment. Then he looked up to find the immortally beautiful Rosalie beside him.

He got up and pulled her close. His lips grazed over her ear and his tall muscular form closed in on her womanly form.

Rosalie smiled. She never could stay mad at him for long.


	5. Breakdancing, Singing and Screaming

**A short drabble:**

'Freaky, hey oh, hey! Freaky, hey oh hey!' chirped Alice. Her lovely soprano voice sang along to Jesse McCartney's high voice. They blended perfectly. She bounded up to the living room with Jasper in tow. She did a cartwheel and a double flip.

Bella's eyes popped. Edward sent a death glare at Alice who was still singing out lyrics. Jasper was also singing. He looked almost as excited as Alice did.

'Jasper!' Rosalie could be so _cold_ sometimes. 'I can understand Alice's excitement, but you? Surely you should be calming her down, not joining in!'

Jasper shrugged and began break dancing.

Esme and Carlisle walked out of the study about to yell at their children, a little peeved at all the commotion.

'People!' Emmet shouted 'What's with all the motion in the ocean?'

'Ooh _Hairspray_! Welcome to the sixties.' blurted out Alice.

'That's not the same song…' grunted Edward.

'Killjoy' giggled Alice.

Jasper stopped his popping and locking to look at Bella. Almost instantly his excitement drowned away. Everyone else in the room quietened down too.

Bella had run away, screaming bloody murder.

'Did we do something wrong? I actually didn't see this…' whispered little Alice.


	6. Table Tennis

**A short drabble:**

'Bella…' cooed Edward into her ear. 'Wake up Bella'

Bella jerked away, the edge of her ear stinging from Edward's cold touch. She blushed looking at Edward.

'Awake now love? Although…I'm surprised you didn't wake earlier. I suppose _human_ senses aren't nearly as strong.'

Bella was too tired to try to argue with him. At any rate, he was right. But now that he mentioned it, she did hear something. Bangs and 'poing's; along with grunts every time a 'poing' was heard. She raised her eyebrow at Edward.

Chuckling, he brought her to her feet and walked hand in hand with her to the rec room. Walking through the open slide door, she saw a very strange scene. Little Alice was playing a fierce round of table tennis with Emmet. Bear-like _Emmet_.

'Bella!' boomed Emmet with a grin. He turned around to look at her and at that precise moment, Alice hit the ball across the table and off with a sounding 'bang'. She grinned and brushed a piece of immaculate hair off her face.

'Thanks Bella, I knew you were coming, but I wasn't sure when. All I knew was that I would win if I tried.'

Emmet scowled but being the good sportsman player that he was, said 'Best out of three?'

Bella fidgeted awkwardly. Alice suddenly stopped taunting Emmet to look dazed. She gasped 'No Bella!' and then immediately after laughed. Edward cursed under his breath.  
Emmet took this opportunity to throw the ball up and smashed it. Straight into the net, which then collapsed. Bella suddenly slipped. From her point of view, it seemed Edward moved a moment too slow to catch her. She sat on the floor looking very crushed. She felt around her to find three table tennis balls.

Emmet laughed again and went over to bring her to her feet. She blushed again.

'Ah only our clumsy little Bella would fall under every possible opportunity!' With this he snickered and pulled her upright so he was looking down into her brown gaze. 'I wonder what you're going to be like as a vampire.'

'Hey Bella? Wanna play ping pong with me?' Alice asked.

'No!' Only Edward could sound that angry if Bella's safety was involved. Excluding Charlie of course. 'You'll smash Bella's arm to bits! If anyone should play against you it should be me. Our _unique_ abilities should level each other out.'

Alice opened her eyes wide, so that she looked more like an innocent pixie than anything. Bella quickly looked at Edward to gauge his reaction. On his face was a frustrated expression.

Alice laughed and held up a new ball. 'Ready dear brother?'

She threw the ball up into the air and hit it so fast it was just a blur. To Bella's eyes it looked like Edward only raised his arm, but the ball travelled to him twice. Bella tried moving her head quickly to see the rally but it was too fast. She settled for just watching Edward.  
Emmet crowed jubilantly but as Bella turned to look at him, she saw Rosalie next to him. They left together, trying to be as subtle as possible.

Bella turned back and this time watched Alice. The little black haired vampire was jumping. Ever so gracefully side to side; an evil smirk on her face. Bella looked at Edward and laughed. The look of constipation on his face turned to one of surprise. He turned around to look at her and at that precise moment, Alice hit the ball across the table and off with a sounding 'bang'.

'Thanks Bella, I knew that was going to happen, but I wasn't sure when. _De ja vu_ much?'


	7. Fake Boobs!

**A short drabble:**

Emmet chuckled and snuck as inconspicuously as he could into a dodgy little shop. One of those general ones that sold everything, although the quality was questionable.

The first thing he saw was a little display table. On top of it was a cardboard box, with holes in it. Each hole had a big soft pink ball in it. Emmet hooted and picked two up but the moment he did, he noticed on each ball, there was a very realistic _nipple_.

'Hey Rose! I think you're missing two of these.' With this, he threw two up into the air. Rosalie, who was on the other side of the shop, caught both in one hand.

The shopkeeper looked up at this. His mouth dropped so far he may have dislocated his jaw. His eyes popped out of his head. The one called Rose was the most beautiful person he had ever seen, alive, dead or fake. When she turned sharply to face the other one, the young shopkeeper saw her face. Her nose was straight, her jaw well defined. Her cheekbones were prominent and gave her face a feeling of elegance. Her eyes were unique, large, beautiful and gold. All in all, the face was beautiful put together and none of her features were too angular, or too round.

She had blonde hair, soft waves down to the back of her waist. Her figure was arousing…more voluptuous than a string bean model, but just as well proportioned, and just as skinny and tall.

One thing was for sure; she did _not_ need those fake toy breasts.

* * *

**I know Rosalie's face seems too angular, too sharp. But remember, they are vampires, and Stephenie Meyer said, they are almost like moving crystals. Their features are slightly more angular than most. **


	8. Perving and then some

**A short drabble:**

Emmet and Rosalie lay in bed, immersed in their love. Then from nowhere, came a muffled shout and 'oof!' The two appeared by the window looking down into the garden. Edward was holding Bella in his arms, who seemingly had fallen from a great height.

'Wow.' Emmet seemed speechless, a confused smirk on his face.

'What do you know, Edward's _innocent_ little Bella finds us _hot_.' Rosalie snickered.


	9. Leah the Librarian

**A short drabble:**

'Hey guys?

My mates turned around to look at me.

'Want a bit of eye candy? That sexy librarian over there.'

They laughed.

'Hey Miss?'

Leah turned around and gave me and my mates a stunning smile.

'Yes?'

'I was wondering if this book I want, isn't over on the 'just returned' pile. Could you check?' I smirked.

'Of course.' She bent from the waist and leaned over to check. I grinned. She was wearing the skimpiest top allowed in here. And while her jeans where just normal skinny jeans, her body was so perfect that no one looked better than she did. She turned around and faced me.

'No I'm sorry. It's not there.'

'That's okay Miss. I'll come back another day.'

(Leah's point of view)

I fumed. This was humiliating. The things men think! And all because I lost a stupid bet. Embry and I was again were at a cold war. Everyone knew I always thought of Embry's parentage. And I used it against him. In our trading of angry words, I yelled at him 'Bet you couldn't outrun me.'

He took me up on it. It was so close…but I still lost. He is bigger than me I suppose. And so the boys forced me to do a summer job.

They rummaged through my wardrobe and made me wear my tightest dark blue skinny jeans. This wasn't the worst though. Oh no. They found my black vest. It was made very well, a sort of office-type vest that you wear over a white shirt. It had one big button that closed the vest just above my belly button. It was very plunging, right down to the middle of my chest. It was a small vest, securely hugging my small waist and stopping there.

But the problem was they made me wear _just _the vest. No white shirt underneath.

When that man asked me do check for his books, I could just feel his friends' eyes watching my backside.

I gritted my teeth. Thank God they left. But now it looked like the whole day was going to be like this. I was going to _kill _the other wolves.


	10. Paul

**A short drabble:**

Paul grit his teeth. After the huge row with his father, neither of them were speaking to each other. Paul sat in the living room, waiting for dinner. His father lay sprawled across the couch, watching the TV.

The damn thing was on full blast and he was watching some dirty comedy show. Paul shut his eyes and imagined his father's disgusting toothy grin spread across his face. Paul really didn't get along with his father. At all. His father shouted out 'Get me a beer will you Paul?'

Paul opened his eyes and his frame shook. In a matter of seconds he was on the floor and inhumane growls came out of his chest. He threw himself at his father, uncaring of the voices in his head. His teeth ripped into his father's ugly face.

'Oi Paul! Where's that beer?'

Paul opened his eyes, for real this time. It had all been in his head. He'd dreamt it up. He was that close to actually doing the deed, he thought it best to remove himself from the man on the couch.

He groggily got up from his chair and grabbed a beer from the kitchen. And chucked it over to his dad, who's eyes popped. He glared at Paul and for a moment, Paul thought he felt his body shudder…


	11. Vamps getting ready 4 School

**A short drabble:**

Edward uncrossed his arms and frowned at his reflection in the bathroom. He moved closer to the mirror and pulled at the bags under his eyes. Blah, he thought. He was going to have to change his myspace mood to 'blah'.

'Move over, emo' Rosalie bustled to the mirror and pushed him aside. Carefully, she brushed both her cheeks with some rose blush. Quite ironic really, she thought. She sniffed at her face and pulled a pout.

Edward groaned.

'Why do you even wear makeup? And I actually mean this, but you are the most beautiful being ever.'

Rosalie tilted her head at him. She looked at herself again. She gave a shrug and sauntered back to her room. Jasper, who was leaning against the sink, looked back down at his feet.

Alice ran around the house. Spotting Jasper in the bathroom, she rushed up to him. Jasper could feel frustration and desperation coming off her.

'What's wrong?' He bent down so he could look her in the eye.

'No time now Jasper! I have to find something to wear! I was up all night! Nothing!' Alice was almost on the verge of non-existent tears.

'…But…but, baby, you have the most extensive wardrobe of anyone probably in this town. Maybe even state. Surely…something…' his voice soothed her and he gently held her in his arms, rocking them both slightly from side to side. Without needing to use his 'gift', he calmed her down; the way only her lover could.

Alice jumped up and Jasper looked up to see Emmet walking up to the bathroom.

'Uh! Everyone has their own little bathroom, why do we all feel the need to share this one? It's as if we're just normal people!'

Emmet grinned and flexed his muscles in the mirror.

'I'm feeling especially lucky today, seeing as how today I have my rugby tryouts. Alice! Help me find something to show off my muscles.'

'Anymore people and this would be _Big Brother_.' Straight after Alice said it, Rosalie sped back in here to grab her lip gloss. Alice sighed.

'Why must you insist on makeup Rose?'

'All I ever put on are blush and lip gloss so enough already!! Seeing as how being a vampire doesn't help with the complexion I have to fake it! Another annoying nuisance of being a vampire.'

She stalked out of the room. Emmet gave a small 'huff' sound and followed her out.

Edward sighed and bared his teeth at his reflection.

'What dear brother? Trying to make sure you're not going to cut _Bella_ up?'

'Alice!' Edward turned around and gave her the old death glare. 'I have not made a single move on her, and I don't intend to.' And besides, he thought desperately, no one is supposed to know.

'Yeah, but you're only doing that to _save_ her. Oh well, it will happen, and it shall happen. Don't deny it Edward.' She moved in close but all Edward heard in her mind were algebraic sums.

All normal for the Cullens. Edward sighed and reached up to his hair. His gaunt reflection caught his eye. Blah, he thought. How anyone could think a vampire beautiful beyond compare was beyond his thinking.

Bella…was his last thought as he started his Volvo.

* * *

**This is before the official romance of Bella and Edward in Twilight. Happens after Alice has her vision of them. If you have read Midnight Sun you will know. So this is set after Bella sees Edward trying to change his classes. The day after!**


	12. Volturi in Italy

**A short drabble:**

Aro ethereally danced across the castle. He smilingly made his way out of the foyer, where Jane was conversing with her twin.

'Ah Jane, there you are' said Aro lightly. 'Come sit with me'

Jane obediently hopped onto her master's lap who had reached for a photo album.

'Aw weren't you just the most adorable little child I ever met.'

Jane's smile only turned more eager as she put her small white hand over Aro's.

'Yes, master.'

Watching them from a safe distance were Caius and Marcus. Caius shook his head.

'There they go again, _bonding_.'

Marcus sighed.

'Well what do you expect them to do? Here we are living for eternity.' He pranced around in imitation of Aro. 'We may as well dig out our photo albums. In fact…why don't we make some new ones?' He raised one eyebrow suggestively.

Caius looked disgusted.

'No thankyou! I am already 'going steady' as they say it with Aro.'

Marcus' eyebrow lifted even higher. 'Oh so you are jealous!'

Caius gave a royal sniff. 'No. I merely disapprove of him engaging in a paedophilic relationship with Jane. That said; don't try any suggestions with Aro either. He may be the lady in our relationship, but he loves me too!'

Marcus fell onto the floor, convulsing with laughter.

'And you can stop that too; there is no need for melodrama!'

Thus, Caius ran out of the display room, sobbing with non-existent tears.


	13. Bella luurves Voldemort

**A short drabble:**

Bella blinked. Sitting at the Cullen's second computer, she was randomly on a fanfiction page. 'Beware' it said, 'if you want to keep on hating Voldemort then don't read this. This will destroy every ounce of hate for him.'

(Later that day)

Leaning back in her chair, she rubbed her eyes. She had finished one of the freakiest fanfictions ever.

Over those three and a half hours she had experienced an aneurysm, an orgasm and a stomach-ache. She began to cry.

Edward came over, his eyes concerned.

'What's _wrong_ Bella? You've been fixated on that computer for the past four hours. I may not be able to read your mind, but I can tell your emotions. I don't need Jasper to tell me that.' As he walked over he eyed her suspiciously. 'And why is Madonna's _Crazy For You_ in the background?'

For once in her life, the man standing in front of her was not enough for her. She wished that he had black hair instead of his copper colour. She wished that he would break down for her and beg her not to leave. She wished he was Tom Riddle.

'Damn it Edward!'

Edward opened his eyes and looked shocked.

'Bella…'

'Just read this. You're familiar with Harry Potter right?'

'Yes.'

'Then just read this. Just read it!' She motioned for him to come over.

Edward sat on the chair, his eyes narrowed at the text before him. With his vampire speed, he finished the whole thing in under an hour. All this time, Bella was in Edward's room lying on the couch, still listening to _Crazy For You_.

Edward came into his room and lay on the couch too. His voice was choked.

'You can go back now.'

Bella numbly walked to the study and sighed. She knew what was wrong with her. She had a bad case of the bad boy blues.


	14. Gotta catch them all!

**A short drabble:**

'Wow'

'Yeah'

'Whoa'

'Yes'

'…WHOAH!'

'Yes Bella…'

'_Nice!' _

'Very. Now will you give the controllers back to Paul before he blows??'

'What?? I just beat the highest score in Pokemon!'

'Yeah, now give it back-wait!'

Bella turned her head distractedly to Jacob.

'Did you say Pokemon? Man…this is gonna be great!' Jacob started laughing like a maniac.


	15. Alice the witch

**A short drabble:**

Alice was determined she was a witch. She had bought a special _Charmed_ DVD collection, shipped from Australia. In the form of the witch's Book of Shadows (book of spells) it housed all 8 seasons of it.

After finishing the entire series by watching it non-stop for almost a week, she was sure she was a witch, just like Phoebe. Otherwise what was she? A future-seeing vampire? That would be just weird. Whereas being a premonition-seeing witch made more sense.

She decided that day she would help Bella. Bella would be happy she was to be helped; she was only some mere mortal. So at Bella's house she was all happy and jumpy. When Bella worried and Edward suspected, Alice just laughed it off and set up for her spell.

_I call upon the ancient power  
__To help Bella make some clam chowder_

Bella, who was sitting with Edward, suddenly got up from his cold embrace and walked kitchen-wards. Edward looked at her for a moment, then suddenly buried his face in his hands and once again turned emo.

Spinning out of nowhere, came a box of ready-to-heat clam chowder. It hit Bella on the head, who with the grace only she had, fell to the floor. 5 minutes later, Edward furiously carried an unconscious Bella to her bed.

'She was supposed to catch it…I couldn't see her falling…' mumbled Alice.

* * *

**I don't own Charmed. Well I do, I own the DVD collection featured in here. But it's not mine to well, you know. Same with all my Twilight stories! And review! **


	16. Confused Carlisle

**A short drabble:**

'Oh god…oh god, oh my god…oh oh oh!' Alice yelped.

Carlisle stood on the step outside his house. His perfect brow creased when he heard this.

'I know! Oh god…oh oh oh…' _Esme?_ Carlisle's eyebrows shot up.

Then he heard a dry sob.

Cautiously, Carlisle turned the key and went in. The girls were sitting on the sofa watching (insert sad movie, I chose 'Sweet November') on their plasma TV.


	17. Garage band

**A short drabble:**

Kim's jaw dropped slightly. Jared grinned and gently held Kim closer to him.

'Well hey! What band could be better than one of werewolves? We have the energy, the talent and the sex appeal!'

'Uhuh…what are you then?'

'I play lead guitar!'

Kim walked slowly to their set-up. Paul was lifting parts of the heavy drum kit with ease.

'We figured someone like Paul should have a better outlet for his anger. Smart huh?'

Jacob played bass guitar and Quil was the singer. Embry apparently, was the sound-house mixer and also a back up singer. The other boys badgered him to be a back up dancer too. Embry, like any red-blooded teenager, refused entirely.

'So you guys are a garage band? Where do you find time?'

'Well, like you said, we find it'

Kim smiled slowly and gently pulled herself into Jared's warm embrace. His strong arms enclosed her in his protective cocoon.

'You know, musicians are sexy…' she whispered into his lips.


	18. Bella's Lullaby right?

**A short drabble:**

'I have something to show you Bella' smiled Edward as he gently touched her cheek.

Bella's breath sped up and before she knew it, Edward having whispered to her 'everything would be fine' she was on his back.

Moments later, she was at their house.

'For you Bella…my inspiration…' He smiled at her, then turned his back to her. Moments later, he spun back around, a leer on his disturbingly still handsome face.

_'Summer lovin'  
__Had me a blast'_

Alice jumped in from the side in a long A-line skirt.

_'Summer lovin'  
__Happened so fast'_

_'I met a girl, crazy for me'_

_'Met a boy, cute as can be'_

_'Summer days driftin' away,  
To uh-oh those summer nights_

_'Oh well oh well oh well oh UH!'_ Jasper and Emmet had run in from the bathroom, hair slicked back thickly.  
_'Tell me more, tell me more,  
Did you get very far?'_

Rosalie popped her head in annoyed, and said in a very monotonous voice.  
'Tell me more, tell me more,  
Like, does he have a car?'

_'Uh huh, Uh huh, Uh huh…'_ Esme crooned in the longest dress Bella had ever seen her wear.  
_'Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo-oooh'_ spluttered Carlisle, head glistening from grease.

_'She walked by me, she got a ahhh'_ Edward snapped his fingers quickly in time to the beat.

_'He went by me, la la la laaa'_ Alice lagged those words in her mouth and danced some ultra groovy 50's, including some sort of chicken dance.

_'I saved her life, she nearly died'_

_'He showed off, starin' at me'_

The horror went on for a few more verses...much to Bella's chagrin.

_'It turned warmer, that's where it ends'_

_'So I told her, we'd still be friends'_

_'Then we made, our true love vow'_

_'Wonder what she's doing now'_

_'Summer dreams, ripped at the seams  
But_ (sigh) _those summer nnaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiighttss!'_

_'Tell me more, tell mo-ooooore!'_

The whole bunch fell on their knees in front on Alice and Edward, whose nasally voices could clear a room.

'Encore! Whoo! Go the vampires! Yeah! Nice…um costumes!'

Edward smiled and ran his fingers through his oily hair.

'Boy, you really know how to spoil a girl huh?'


	19. Edward at his piano

**A short drabble:**

Edward sat at his beautiful piano. He was studiously going through _Hanon-The virtuoso pianist, _completely disregarding the fact he was a vampire and any pianist would die to have a vampire's strength, agility and speed.

He played through the entire thing so fast, it sounded like one big messy chord. It was quite irritating also, to have the trees outside the window as a distraction, even if the window was all the way on the other side of the room.

Once, twice, and _again _the trees outside rustled and moved. _There's no wind today_, thought Edward frowningly.

'Rosalie, what's going on outside that window?' he asked Rosalie, who was painting her nails.

'Oh, it's just the Volturi.'

'_WHAT?!' _

Edward's fingers crashed down on the piano with such a force the piano broke. He raced through the room to the door; completely forgetting the fact the window was open and he could've just gone through it, and checked the trees outside.

Emmet grinned sheepishly at him.

* * *

**I'm a pianist and this was inspired by me at my piano, playing through distractions, very fast too I might add. Review!!**


	20. The life of Edward

**A short drabble:**

Edward stood in front of his mirror. Slowly, he took in the view. Sighing, he loosened his school tie. Pulling on his school blazer, he ran down the stairs to the living room. He twisted himself over the banister and he swung himself down onto the wooden floor. He landed both feet on the floor, knees bent. He went into the living room, picked up his school bag, and walked out the front door.

As he closed the gate outside his door, Tom from down the street was walking from his house too. Tom smiled as he realised they were both wearing the same uniform.

'You are also enrolled at St. Gregory's?'

'Yes'

'This is your first year, I believe?'

Edward nodded, his eyes on his black shoes. He couldn't think of anything to say. He had seen Tom around the neighbourhood of course, but they never really talked. Tom glanced over at Edward and his small eyes crinkled around the corners. Edward grimaced back in response.

'I'm sorry, I'm just preoccupied.'

Tom sighed and nodded his head.

They walked the rest of the way up the school in companionable silence.

* * *

The first day at school was unremarkable. Half way through the day, an old man with glasses had knocked on the door of Edward's class. One look at Edward, and he marked something on his wooden clipboard. Then he left. Edward thought perhaps the only interesting thing had been the resounding sound the door made when it creaked back into position. The first thing he did when he got back home was throw off his tie.

'How was your first day at school darling?'

Edward smiled mechanically at his mother. Her startling green eyes looked right back into Edward's identical ones.


	21. The Makeover

**A short drabble:**

Rosalie glanced at her reflection. She sighed. The same boring eyes, the same boring hair, lips, skin, boobs.

'Alice! Alice!' There was a moment of silence.

'Alice!!'

Alice poked her head out of her room, with the massive bathroom. She rolled her eyes at Rosalie. 'What?'

Rosalie glared at her and said 'I want a makeover.'

Alice's eyes grew wider. Alice _lived_ for makeovers. She probably would've pulled Rosalie into her room right now were it not for Bella already being forced in there.

'Rose! Rosie! I never thought this day would come! Oh Rose!'

Rosalie narrowed her eyes at Alice. Alice smiled as her eyes grew distant.

'I can't promise tonight, but definitely before Monday. Okay?' she smiled imperiously and slammed the door.

An hour later, Rose stamped around her room, leaving dents in the wooden floor. Alice rushed in quickly.

'Okay! Before you stamp a hole in the floor'

'Now come on! What do you want?'

Rosalie blinked a couple of times. She stroked her chin. Tapped her head. Then she snapped her fingers.

'I got it!' Rose exclaimed.

Alice had already rushed them to her room. She rushed around her bathroom picking things up as she ran.

'Tanning lotion…bronzer…foundation…hair dye…lip gloss…yes!' She turned around to look back at Rose. 'What have I missed?' Alice ran back around her bathroom, mumbling to herself. '…Sunglasses…bikini…towel…'

'I think that's about it Alice.'

'Oh good! Now let's get to it!' She grinned and pinned Rosalie's hair up at the top of her head, all piled up in a bundle of curls.

Rose stripped down to her underwear. Alice sighed.

'Rose…the bikini you wanted and I picked out for you, is very skimpy. Emphasis on the very. You've got to show more skin than that if you want me to do it properly.'

Grumbling, Rose stripped naked and sat on Alice's bed. Alice rolled up her sleeves and opened the tanning lotion bottle. She poured a good amount onto her hand. Frowning, she wasn't quite sure exactly how much was needed. But she had read enough magazines and instructions. Only she hoped she wouldn't mess it up for Rose. And they had really _really _pale skin. Hard too, like marble. Alice just hoped it would stick. She mixed the brown liquid onto her hands and slathered some onto Rosalie's legs. As she smoothed the lotion out, she had a vision. Sighing, she brushed the vision aside. She just had to be sure she did the job to perfection.

30 seconds later, she had covered every bit of Rosalie save for her hair. Rosalie was glistening from head to toe. Rosalie glanced around at her body.

'Why is it not working?? It says 'instant!'

'Rose…look. Our vampire senses were too quick for it to be 'instant'. Now for your face. We need bronzer. I don't even see the point of foundation seeing as well, since you have such good skin.'

Rose tilted her head to one side and simpered up at Alice. Alice rolled her eyes as she chose a soft wide brush out of her collection of brushes. Dipping it in some bronzer that was now the right fit for Rosalie's skin colour, she brushed it along her cheekbones. Then she put some shiny clear lip-gloss onto Rosalie's softly tinted pink/light red lips.  
For the finishing touch, she highlighted bits of Rose's perfect blonde hair. She now had bits of light brown/dark blonde; tiny streaks here and there that looked very natural.

'Now, we wait for everything to dry.'

Alice sat on her corner of her bed, picking at her fingernails. Rosalie was standing on her tiptoes, on some newspaper. Alice had demanded her keep her room clean. Why? Rosalie has asked back. You could easily go buy some new covers, she told her. This resulted in an _accidental _giant dye streak going on Rosalie's face.

They waited. In their relative vampire time, they could've gone on 10 dates, ran across America, swam the English Channel, held a 'Vamps 4Eva' get together and a 'Werewolves suck' get together.

Ding! Some random timer went off.

Rosalie pulled on her bikini and ran down the stairs to the living room.

'Guys! What do you think?' She pulled some model poses. Everyone stared. Alice tiptoed down the stairs. She put her finger to her lips.

'Rosalie!' Edward put a smile on his face. 'You look great!'

'Yeah! Hey seeing as how it's kinda a cloudy day but hot, let's all go to the beach!' Jasper smiled.

The Cullen kids agreed, and they all got dressed. Everyone all looked absolutely gorgeous. For some random reason, Edward forgot to invite Bella. Maybe because somehow, he thought she would spoil all the fun, like the fun-spoiler like she was.

Together, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice and Edward ran down the beach, slowly. Like surf lifesavers. To the soundtrack of 'The Chariot'. Their hair blew in the wind, their bodies moved fluidly and they looked like they came straight from a scene of a movie.

There, they were surprised to see Emmet there. Of course, they would all have to meet at some point. _Duh!_ Edward smacked himself in the head. Emmet smiled and waved from his high chair so eagerly he fell off.

'Emmet! Baby! Hi! How do I look?'

'Emmet…bro…' Jasper bumped fists with him and they nodded at each other, fingers pointed in a gun pose.

'Emmet…so now you're a life saver! I'm surprised you have the brain cells for that. To think…all those lives in your hands.' Edward shuddered at the very thought.

'Shut up Edward, leave him alone.'

'Baby…you didn't answer my question!'

'Uh…babe let's just…get outta here.'

'Why?' Rose looked confused.

'Babe. You're hot. No matter what you do with yourself. I stuck with you when you went geisha. Even when you went African and got dreds. But I can't let you tan yourself like this. It's inhumane.' Emmet gently steered her over to the water. Together, they looked down.

Emmet looked perfect. Rosalie looked perfect. Just less perfect than normal. Of course, put her against any human and she would utterly eclipse them. Put her even against a vampire and she would still hold her own. Put her against herself though…to put it simply…

'I look crap.'

Emmet held her face in his hands.

'No of course not...Carrot top'

* * *

**Review! I mean, review? Puss in boots eyes **


	22. Computer

**A short drabble:**

Bella locked herself into her room.

Charlie poked his head in hesitantly.

'Bells? Dinner? Seeing as how I am totally dependent on you and before you got here, I was always eating takeaway, will you cook dinner?'

'In a minute dad' she said distractedly.

A moment later, a musical chuckle came from her closet.

'Now…shall we get started?'

'In a minute Edward' said Bella as she booted up her computer.

Edward became suspicious. Never would Bella deny Edward anything. In fact, she wanted them to go further, didn't she? He leaned towards her computer.

She had 2 applications on.

1. The Sims 2

2. IMVU

There was a gathering storm coming; a power struggle; a war. And it was one he knew he could not win. He could feel it in his bones.


	23. A squid

**A short drabble:**

A giant squid was lying in the middle of Sam and Emily's house. It writhed slightly; it's tentacles moving.

'We better clean it up before Sam gets home.'

'I reckon it'll die in a minute.'

'Nahh…I heard squids are pretty resilient.'

'Shut up'

Jared, Embry, Quil, Seth, Leah and Jacob all turned to glare at Paul.


	24. Other people have problems too Edward

**A short drabble:**

'I'm procrastinating'

'That's nice dear'

'I'm putting off homework I'm supposed to be doing'

'Oh.'

'…'

Edward stretched out his hands and leant back, looking at Esme.

'You don't mind that I'm procrastinating?'

'No, not really sweetie-pie' she said as she danced around the house, a broom in hand and a feather duster in the other.

'Well, what if I fail?'

Esme stopped wiping the dust from the top of the fridge.

'Oh, you mean if you get a B? That's fine Edward dear; we all know you can do better. So I don't mind if you do _fail_.' She smiled gently at her baby boy.

'Yup' Edward lounged on the sofa, breathed on his fingernails and brushed them against his shirt.

This was pointless. He couldn't get Esme to yell at him, or even in a bad mood. Even when he could read her mind and did just what he thought would wind her up.

Just as he was thinking this, the front door opened, and Alice stalked in, waves of angst coming off her. Her usually spiky black pixie hair was even droopy.

'Hey Alice. I'm procrastinating' He grinned.

'That's great Edward'

Edward glanced over at Alice.

'Don't even bother little brother…I'm PISSED OFF and I don't need your sarcasm or nosiness weighing me down.' She stalked to her room.

Edward sighed, and lay on the sofa, his arms behind his head.

A moment later, he heard muffled giggling and frowning, he looked at the back door. Rosalie and Emmett were whispering their way in.

'Hey Emmett. I'm procrastinating'

Emmett's booming laughter was heard milliseconds seconds after.

'Hey lil' bro can I pro-cras-ti-nate with you?'

Edward snorted.

'Now why on earth would you want to wait when you're about to have kinky sex with Rose?'

'Exactly that' He leaned in conspiratorially and whispered 'she's planning on getting a feather duster…add that to my butt and you have?'

'Butt sex?'

'NO'

* * *

**I heard the line 'feather duster' in Two and a half men and I love that show! Alan says something along the lines of 'No, her idea of kinky is a feather duster, ice cream and a hat' or something**


	25. Bella? part 2

**A short drabble:**

'Eddie!!'

Edward was highly suspicious of Bella that day. He was in fact, wary of her attitude in general. Of course, he had reason to be. Bella had dragged him to the largest shopping centre in the city. It was very Alice-like. She had maxed out his credit card in 2 days. Edward didn't complain much, because at night, they would engage in 'passionate' kissing. It was of course, very chaste. What Edward saw of those movies Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett secretly shared together was nothing like this. He always thought perhaps Bella missed the memo; she always immediately started to gasp whenever his lips would touch hers. She was supposed to do that _later…_

Anyway, he put those thoughts out of his mind and followed Bella to another shoes store. This was confusing; she didn't really dress up anyway. She really only wore converse, ballet shoes and no-heel boots. Bella gave a shriek and ran across the room to grab the last pair of strappy red leather stilettos.

This was only going to get worse. After trying them on one foot, she bought them. The assistant looked very pleased, and Edward was once again only mildly surprised that Bella had gone right out of her price range and straight into his.

They returned to the Cullen residence where Bella decided to parade around the house in her new, strappy red leather stilettos.

Alice smiled and clapped her hands.

'I'm so proud of you Bella!'

Edward gave a small groan. He liked Bella because she was different. Oh well, there were other points about her…like how she was so adorably clumsy, or, her shyness, or, or… It was only through Edward's rose coloured glasses that he saw these are endearing traits. Any other person would find this person completely incompetent. Any other person would find her boring, and bad on a sporting team. But Edward loved her regardless of her faults. Or was it because of them?

Bella pulled him into the dining room, her arms out. With a small grin, she stopped and suddenly jumped into his arms.

'Oof!'

Edward held her in his cold arms for a moment and as gently and slowly as he could, put her on the dining table. Then suddenly, he swung her around and headed into the living room where he dumped her on the couch.

Bella giggled.

'No Bella…that's not I'm doing. I'm afraid someone as accident-prone as you would hurt yourself on that hard surface.'

'Oh my gosh can you read my mind now??' She turned her large brown doe-eyed gaze onto him. Edward slowly put both his hands on her face. Holding the sides of her face, he looked her in the eyes. His eyebrows pinched together and for a moment, all he felt was Bella's hot breath.

'Bella?' he said softly and caressingly. He was trying to dazzle her, he admitted.

'Ya?'

He was afraid then.

* * *

**Review?**


	26. Leave me alone

**A short drabble:**

'Leave me alone'

1 hour passed.

'Leave me alone!'

Several hours passed.

'_Leave me the HELL alone!'_

A day passed.

'…please…leave me alone…just leave me alone' Jacob rocked in his spot in the foetal position.

'Fine Jake, but you're kind of sitting right in the middle of the living room.'

'Yeah, we're trying to watch Big Brother.' Leah said in a bored monotonous voice.

'Fine! I'll leave! I'll leave! Is that what you want?? Huh?? Do you want me to leave and never come back??'

'…'

'Man, we never said that! Relax!'

'I've been trying to! I would've ages ago but you guys kept _not_ leaving me alone!'

'Geez Jake, what is it? That time of month for you or something?' Paul leered at him.

'…Ugh'


	27. An eternity together

**A short drabble:**

Edward and Bella were sitting in a hammock, rocking gently in the wind. Bella was sitting in her loved one's lap and his cold arms were holding her equally cold body securely to him. This was a routine for them, their 40 years together as vampires.

Moments of quiet tranquillity passed between them.

Edward snaked his head to her ear and whispered gently.

'What are you thinking?'

Bella turned her head slightly to smile up at him.

'Just how beautiful you are'

'Damn...you're shallow'


	28. Camels

**A short drabble:**

'Let's go ride camels!'

'Okay'

The massive camels took their time getting up. Even though they were accustomed to carrying heavy loads, there was nothing quite like carrying an entire wolf pack. Because there was only one camel, and all the wolves wanted a go, _at the same time_ the poor thing was almost dragged down. It went slower than an old donkey dragging some windmill by itself. It went so slow; Jacob got annoyed and overthrew the camel.

'Climb on me everyone!'

So Jacob shape shifted into his wolf form and carried everyone else along the sandy beach.


	29. Dr Cullen

**A short drabble:**

Carlisle walked into the Forks hospital, for his first day.

Carlisle ran out of the Forks hospital, on his first day. He straightened up when he was outside the front gates, where a man in a suit was staring at him. He quickly gave the man a bland tortured smile and hurried to his car, where came the screech of tires.


	30. Nessie rules!

**A short drabble:**

She was sitting there, with Edward chuckling as she lay in his lap, her feet dangling just above his own.

'Mom? Dad?'

Instantly, they both straightened up, and Bella stood up. She never liked attention of any sort, and she hated flaunting her relationship with Edward too. Ness rolled her eyes. Didn't she tell them she didn't care that they loved each other? _Honestly?_ It wasn't as if they needed to protect her innocence, she knew all about kissing, and cuddling. Hell, she did it herself.

'Sorry honey' her mother said, she looked down at her feet.

Nessie gave a small smirk, one dimple showing up in the cheek that was twisted.

'It's okay mom'

'So. Nessie' her father said. He raised his eyebrows expectantly. He tried not to always read his daughter's mind. Some things were best left private, and he tried not to listen when her 'hormonal' phase had started. So, of course, he had often stayed away from her, unless Bella was there too. 'Anything bothering you?'

Nessie tilted her head down at her father.

'As a matter of fact, there is' she looked at her mother, who gave a small smile.

'Sorry, was there something you wanted me to hide from him? You know, it does help sometimes, like when you said you did do your homework, and you didn't'

'Oh please mom. Just because you two were perfect students doesn't mean that everyone has to be. Come to think of it, have I ever not done my homework besides that _one time_? It takes me only about five minutes every night anyway'

Bella smiled, her eyes sparkling and looked back at Edward, who smiled and squeezed her hand.

'Daddy…' Edward sighed and stood up. Whenever she started like that, he knew she wanted something. His aim was to stop her before she started; as no one could refuse her anything once she did.

'What, Nessie?'

'Is grandpa around?'

He was taken aback for a moment. He tried to listen, but he couldn't hear anything. He looked at Bella, who raised one shoulder in apology.

'She is our baby girl after all' she said.

'Yes, grandpa is here, in his study'

'Thanks!' and then she skipped out.

'What-what just happened?' he looked around in confusion.

'She continues to surprise us,' Bella smiled 'is what happened'

Before the frown had left his face, she had crawled back onto him and proceeded to kiss him.


	31. Hell no we won't go

'Hell no we won't go! Hell no we won't go! Hell no we won't-'

Rosalie looked at her husband.

'Emmett…that is _so_ not original, don't you think it's time you gave it up?'

'Why?'

'Well,' smiled Alice, as she turned around to look at them 'it hasn't worked for the past 10 minutes, what make you think it'll keep working?'

Emmett looked back at her.

'Is that a challenge?'

Alice laughed. 'No. You win, by the way'

He gave a crow of laughter, which turned into a whimper when Carlisle walked into the room.

'Hell no we won't go!' he started up again.

Rosalie put her hand over his mouth.

'Thank you Rose' Carlisle smiled at her. 'Now, if there are no more interruptions…despite Emmett's continued protests, we must vacate the premises. The food here is delectable, but it is a vice of ours'

Emmett wrenched his face away from Rosalie.

'Wha?'

'In other words, I don't care what you say Emmett…we all know this is a dangerous place. Humans often come to their death here, and you would have their blood'

'Yeah! It's not hurting anyone! I mean…it's not like I'm hunting them!'

'No…but you're getting hooked on human blood now'

Emmett glared at Carlisle, then an ingenious plan formed in his brain.

After a good long battle with words, Emmett found himself on a ridge of the mountainous area they were living at.

'AAAAAAAAARGH!'

There was a thud. Emmett leaned his head outside of the cover he was under, to see a middle-aged man lying, unconscious. He gave a small sigh.

'Sorry, man'

* * *

**Sorry for the long break I took! R&R!**


	32. Dad & I

'Dad I think this is it'

I glanced towards the glass window of the Italian restaurant opposite them. It had a quaint feel to it, which surprised me, knowing that Alice recommended this restaurant with its highly regarded commercial demeanour. For now, it would do. I was fairly hungry and Italian food was a favourite of mine. I made a note to thank Alice for her charming little discovery.

Dad looked down at me and smiled, his bright teeth gleaming slightly in the middle of the day. Even in Forks, when the sun was hidden behind thick clouds, occasionally, if you looked closely enough, if you paid some attention to how they looked the way they did, rather than just that they did look so striking, you could see the glittering spheres of their skin. Dad always did draw large amounts of attention to himself no matter where he went. He was, even I had to admit, a fairly good looking man, much as I try not to think about how chillingly youthful my parents looked. Not just my parents, but my supposed grandparents and my various uncles and aunties.

Dad looked cautiously into the open door of the restaurant.

'Come on, dad. I think this is the very restaurant that mom and you went to; I think we've established that. So can we please go in?' I smiled my most charming smile. 'Besides' I teased him 'as a full vampire, shouldn't you have photographic memory and know exactly where we are?'

Dad looked down at me, a slight crease forming between his brow. Sometimes it was a little entertaining to watch a man of 17 years old be called father by an equally old looking girl 'dad'. Dad murmured to me 'Renesmee, that is very true, but it has been 100 years, things have changed quite greatly. It's rather interesting to see that this place is still so old fashioned in appearance. I just don't want you to see anything less'

I rolled my eyes with a smile on my face.

'Let's just go in'

There was an automated machine where, upon choosing our menu, we could directly input them into the kitchen and await our orders. As I gently tapped the choice for a Steak with Mushroom sauce and 2 cokes, Dad slid easily into the nearest booth. As we waited, he tried to keep his eyes off me, but every now and then they would revert back to me. I felt slightly uneasy.

'Dad…what's going on?'

He cleared his throat in an intensely human gesture.

'This…may have been a bad idea….'

I blinked. Having the human need to blink, it was a little mannerism that allowed me to integrate into the human world much more easily than the rest of my indestructible family. 'Dad…what do you mean?' I reached across the table top to rest my hands upon him and attempt to communicate my need for his answer. He drew back rather gently.

'Renesmee, darling…' he shakes his head slightly. 'Renesmee, I think, perhaps...'

I tilted my head slightly to the left, trying to come to a conclusion. What did he mean? There was no one else…no one apart from the chef, my father and I in this little restaurant. My father…the beautiful, perpetually 17 year old and I, the youngling with the clear skin and youthful blush…with a start I jerked away. We left as soon as I finished my meal. As we glided swiftly out the entrance, I noticed, in my peripheral vision, the chef bobbing his head to catch a glance at the young, precociously attractive couple that my father and I must have looked together. How embarrassing.


	33. Alice Wonders

Alice sighed and rubbed her temples. One hand was tensed over the touchpad, the other reached back down and typed in a question into Yahoo! Answers.

'Do you think that he actually likes me for me, or for the fact that I can read tarot cards?'


	34. Alice Ponders

**AN: So, I'm back! I recently got back into fan fiction because of fan art (deviantart, of course) so I have wandered back into the land of writing. As I was reading through some of my older works, I can't help but wince…some is atrocious and incredibly bad…just to let you guys know…there is a gap of about 1.5 years between the first 31 chapters of this and 32 onwards. Of course, my writing is still pretty average but hey, at least now I know it's bad! Anywhoo, enjoy ^^**

'I don't think I realised just how embarrassing it is to lose…' Alice whispered fearfully. 'I mean…not just embarrassing, but it doesn't feel good…it doesn't feel normal.' Her little mouth turned downwards. She brushed the laptop from her in one dramatic movement and turned her head away.

Jasper gently stooped down towards her and put his large white hands over her legs. 'Darling, what's wrong? Did I hear right?...you said you lost?'

Alice turned her head down, pulling her legs up and fixed herself into a ball. With a small sigh, she tilted the laptop screen towards Jasper. His eyes roved across the screen and saw that it was open on an internet game site…she was playing chess on the advanced setting.


	35. Getting into the Club

Day 1:

The bouncer looked me up and down. There was a small crease between his eyebrows.

'You can go in.' He looked at Edward, a small smirk on his lips.

After us were Alice and Jasper, and Emmet and Rosalie. He let them all go without a thought, although he looked at Rosalie for more than necessary.

Inside the club, the DJ was playing 'Forever' by Chris Brown and all the girls were dancing and it was quite entrancing. But me, I was out of my depth. I liked this place, and Edward being here with me was great, but I couldn't keep up. I felt like such a n00b. I really did; it wasn't like you needed a vampire's energy to keep up, and humans were everywhere. But I didn't really mind as Edward reminded me I had 3 days to get used to it.

Day 2:

There was a new bouncer tonight. This time, Alice and Jasper were before us. Alice was wearing her new stiletto heels. She looked like she was on stilts, but only if you knew how short she actually was. The new bouncer let them all go, but he was frowning at Alice. Then, he looked at Jasper, as if to remind himself that such a mature looking guy wouldn't date a minor.

He let Edward and I go but seeing as how the perfect couple Emmet and Rosalie were motioning for us to follow them in, I guess the reason he let us go was because he was scared. Judging by the look on Edward's face, what was going through the bouncer's mind must have been different.

Day 3:

Once again there was another bouncer.

'What, is it like, 'hire a bouncer per night' or what?' I hissed at Edward. I didn't really like clubbing. Even though I was 18 and thus legal, the man standing beside me was not.

'Actually, I'm a 117 year old vampire Bella.' I turned to look at him.

'What you can read my mind?'

'No, actually but I can read his.' He tilted his head towards tonight's bouncer. 'I believe the best strategy would be for us to go after Alice and Jasper, but before Emmet and Rosalie.'

I nodded, keeping my eyes 's bouncer looked tough. He had around as much muscles as Emmet and that was scary. Especially as how the bouncer did not in any way look like a big teddy we reached him, he looked down on us and checked me over. I gave a nervous smile and Edward gently reassured me by putting his arm around my waist.

'Can I see your ID?' his voice was very gruff, like he had smoked one too many cigarettes in his much-abused life.

'Sure' I fumbled in my purse and looked for my driver's license. 'Can we go in now?'

His lip curled. Edward looked at him and raised his eyebrow.

'Come on. If my girlfriend is 18, then shouldn't I be too? You don't think she would date a younger man do you?'

'ID. Your ID' The bouncer's eyes narrowed at Edward.

Oh no. Edward was 17. He would be 17 for eternity and well, he hadn't 'aged' past 17 this year in Forks. Oh crap.

He wasn't allowed in the club in the end. Even when Emmet demanded he get in, and I tried to flirt with the man he still didn't budge.

'Never mind love.' Edward told me later. 'He was more or less jealous of our group. Well, mostly me.' A smile lingered on his lips and I stopped breathing. He tasted so sweet when we closed in for the kiss…


End file.
